It was a dark and stormy night

“She had a body that reached out and slapped my face like a five-pound ham-hock tossed from a speeding truck.” 2024 Grand Prize Winner

Founded in 1982 at San Jose State University in California, the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest challenges entrants to compose opening sentences to the worst of all possible novels. 

The BLFC was the brainchild of Professor Scott Rice. Sentenced to write a seminar paper on a minor Victorian novelist, he chose the man with the funny hyphenated name, Edward George Bulwer-Lytton. Best known for The Last Days of Pompeii, his novel Paul Clifford began with the famous opener that has been plagiarized repeatedly by the cartoon beagle, Snoopy.

Crime & Detective

Winner

She was poured into the red latex dress like Jello poured into a balloon, almost bursting at the seams, and her zaftig shape was awesome to behold, but I knew from the look on her face and the .45 she held pointing at me, that this was no standard client of my detective agency, but a new collection agency tactic to get me to pay my long-overdue phone bill.

You can find all of this year’s groaners, I mean winners, right here.

 

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Tension for Tears

As I have previously mentioned, the novels and short stories of Ray Bradbury played an important role in my early love of reading. I recently ran across this marvelous brief video of Bradbury from fifty years ago discussing the importance of art and literature in our lives, as well as a bit about his personal creative process.

 

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when you got to go, you got to go

During a recent visit to New York City, I became hyper aware of the disappearance of public restrooms. There’s no polite way to put this: going to the bathroom in New York is a big hassle. Public restrooms in the city are hard to find and are often either out of order or require you to buy something at a store or café to be able to use. The problem is so bad that individuals have created their own resources for finding public restrooms.

A new Google Maps layer introduced by the city attempts to tackle this issue. As part of a new program called “Ur in Luck,” the city has introduced a Maps view dotted with 1,000 public restrooms across the five boroughs. Users can view the map on their phones and locate the closest restroom that’s accessible to the public. It’s sounds good, but a recent WNYC public radio show revealed that more than 100 of the advertised facilities is out of order on any given day. And, at least 100 more are only open part of the day and closed on weekends.

The new map will be somewhat helpful, but it’s a drop in the bucket of need.. One thousand bathrooms for 8 million New Yorkers is woefully insufficient. Not to mention the 62 million annual visitors to the city.

Still, if you’re planning a visit, check out the video below on the project:

 

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Summer Reads

It has become an annual tradition each summer for former President Barack Obama to share his summer reading list on social media. As usual, the list showcases his mix of fiction and nonfiction, and it shows off an interest in both books that have been popular and some that are lesser-known. His 2024 list is one of the longer reading lists in recent years.

 

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Through Thick and Thin

I don’t think that I’ve read Chaucer since high school, but I was still fascinated when I ran across an article on the many commonly used English phrases that he  coined (or popularized) a lot of phrases that we still regularly use today, and the folks at Medievalists.net assembled 35 of them! They include …

  • Through Thick and Thin — Found in The Canterbury Tales: “And forth with wehee, thurgh thikke and thurgh thenne.”
  • To Wet One’s Whistle — Found in The Canterbury Tales: “So was hir joly whistle wel ywet.”
  • Piping Hot — Found in The Canterbury Tales: “And wafres, pipyng hot out of the gleede.”
  • To Hang in the Balance — Found in the short poem Womanly Noblesse: “Considryng eke how I hange in balaunce.”

Go check out the rest; cool beans.

 

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Respect the law of consequences

Those of you who stop by TBTP on a regular basis know that I am an evangelist for the work of Octavia E. Butler . The first widely read Black science fiction author and Afro-Futurist pioneer was also a perspicacious social critic. Her brilliant essay “A Few Rules for Predicting the Future,” published in 2000 for Essence magazine, was recently republished  by Chronicle Books, featuring exciting futurist collages by Manzel Bowman.

Butler’s essay was written in respondence to a student’s question, “Do you really believe that in the future we’re going to have the kind of trouble you write about in your books?” The question referred to Butler’s warnings about increasing drug addiction, illiteracy, global warming and untold seeds of doomsday scenarios. “I didn’t make up the problems,” she noted, “all I did was look around at the problems we’re neglecting now and give them about 30 years to grow into full-fledged disasters.”

Queried if there was a solution to the problems, Butler replied there is not one, but many—and “the very act of trying to look ahead to discern possibilities and offer warnings is in itself an act of hope.”

 

 

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The Mark on the Wall

 

“The Mark On The Wall” is based on Virginia Woolf’s short story of the same name, which opens with the mysterious line—”Perhaps it was the middle of January in the present year that I first looked up and saw the mark on the wall.”— before sinking into a stream-of-consciousness style monologue of speculation and intrigue. The film by Anderson Wright emulates Woolf’s signature form as the narrator visualizes all the joyful, harrowing, and disturbing possibilities that caused a dark spot to appear within her home. Spoiler alert: It’s not what she thinks.

Watch “The Mark On The Wall” on Vimeo, where you can find more of Wright’s films.

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On The Beach

I was surprised to stumble on the complete version of the Stanley Kramer film On The Beach posted on YouTube. The 1959 American post-apocalyptic science fiction drama had an enormous impact on me when I first saw the movie on television when I was a young teenager. The film is based on Nevil Shute’s powerful 1957 novel of the same name. The story is set in a world devastated by nuclear war, and it explores the lives of a group of people in Australia as they await the inevitable arrival of deadly radiation that will reach them soon. The film features an ensemble cast led by Gregory Peck, Ava Gardner, Fred Astaire, and Anthony Perkins. As the characters face their impending doom, they grapple with the existential questions of life, love, and the consequences of human actions. “On the Beach” is known for its poignant portrayal of the impact of nuclear war and the inevitability of the end of humanity. The movie received critical acclaim for its powerful performances and thought-provoking themes. It remains a significant work in the genre of post-apocalyptic cinema.

Although it views the world through the lens of the 1950s U.S., it’s well worth a watch if you have two hours to spare.

 

 

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Penguins

Any self-respecting book cover geek needs to take a gander at this website dedicated to the cover art of Penguin paperbacks, curated by Australian design instructor  Greg Neville .

“Penguin Books has had numerous categories in its long history: fiction, crime, sci-fi, poetry, theatre, classics, non-fiction, education etc. Alongside these broad categories more specific printings have been made with particular themes. For example, an edition of a particular author’s works, a specially priced series, a focus on regional authors, or series based on food, travel or romance. These editions of related books, where the art direction and design is co-ordinated in a single aesthetic with variations on a theme, is the subject of this site.” As you’d expect there is some gorgeous cover design on display here.

 

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Definitely Not Hoarding

 

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