I readily admit that my language skills are atrocious. Wherever I travel, I always manage to awkwardly mangle any attempts at spoken communication in the local language. Oddly, my written understanding and comprehension can be adequate, but it all goes south as soon as I open my gob.

The only limited success that I sometimes achieve is with my woefully inadequate high school French. Although once when I was staying in Paris a neighborhood shopkeeper called the entire store staff out from the back room to hear me humiliate myself placing an order. Maybe I can use some of the tips in this hilarious video on faking French fluency.